Peter Pan Parodies Wiki
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Back at the ship, Captain Negaduck was playing on a piano with Stan Woozle and Heff Heffalump dreamily watching and Bijou Ham-Ham sitting on an inkwell, looking very cross.

"So, you accept defeat by Monsieur Crane?" Bijou asked, not believing him.

"Yes, Miss Bijou, Captain Negaduck admits defeat. Tomorrow, I leave the island, never to return." Negaduck said. Heff was driking a glass of red wine he poured himself from the bottle.

Heff heard that. "I'm glad to hear that, captain. Hic! Stan and I will tell the crew and… Hic!"

But Negaduck tripped them over, telling them, 'I didn't mean it.'

Then Negaduck turned to Bijou. "And that's why I asked you over, me dear, to tell Crane I bear him no ill will." Negaduck said, as he carried on playing the piano.

"Oh, Crane has his ideas to be sure. Bringing that Master Viper to the island, for instance. Dangerous business is that." Negaduck said, as he was still playing the piano.

"Why, rumour has it that already she has come between you and Crane." Negaduck said.

"She had?" Bijou sobbed, and she was about to cry.

"But what's this?" Negaduck gasped, as he stopped playing, "Tears? Then it is true."

Stan drank his own glass of wine, but then he stopped and put the wine bottle back in the piano case, only to get his finger stuck. He successfully pulled it out. "Oh, Stan, Heff, the way of a man with a maid. Taking the best years of her life, and then, casting her aside! Like an old glove!"

Stan began to cry, as well. "Ain't it a blooming… Hic! …shame?"

"There, there!" Heff said, soothingly, "It's all right."

"But we mustn't judge Crane too harshly, my dear," Negaduck said, as he handed Bijou his handkerchief. Bijou blew her nose on the handkerchief. "It's that Viper who is in love with him."

"Mais oui, but I love la souris Dixie 100%!" Bijou said, nodding her head.

"Stan, Heff, we must save the bird from himself! But how?" Negaduck asked. Stan was still sobbing, and Heff was still consoling him, "We've so little time, we sail in the morning." Negaduck said, "Sail! That's it, boys!" He knocked the woozle and heffalump to the ground. "We'll shanghai Viper!"

"Shanghai Viper, captain?" asked Heff. Bijou was listening.

"Take her to sea with us. With her gone, Crane will soon forget this mad infatuation." said Negaduck, "Come, boys. We must leave immediately, surround Crane's home…"

"But captain, we don't know where Master Crane lives." Stan said.

Captain Negaduck put on his hat and gasped. "Great Scott, you're right, boys!' he exclaimed.

"I can help with that!" Bijou said.

"What's that, my dear?" asked Negaduck.

Bijou flew to the map. "I'll lead you on this map to show you where Monsieur Crane and Madamoiselle Viper are."

"You could show us the way? Why I never thought of that. Take this down, boys." Negaduck whispered to Stan and Heff.

"Take this down, boys." Heff whispered and then he and Stan remembered they are males. Stan took a few sips of wine and tipped it upside down, only for the wine to flow out. "Aye, aye, captain." He stopped the flow with his finger.

Bijou put some ink on her paws and begin to walk on the map. "Start at Pegleg Point." Negaduck said.

"Start at Pegleg Point." Heff repeated, as he wrote it down.

"Forty paces west of Blindman's Bluff."

"Blindman's Bluff." Stan repeated, also writing it down.

"Yes, yes," Negaduck said, as Bijou kept walking on the map with ink marks, showing them the way. "Hop, skip, and jump across Alligator Creek. Then north by northeast one, two, three…" Bijou stopped walking.

Negaduck was losing his patience. "WELL, GET ON WITH IT!" he shouted, banging the table with the candle holder.

"Err… continue, my dear." he smiled.

"Now wait a minute," Bijou said, as she flew up in front of Negaduck's face. "If you do find it, you will harm Monsiieur Crane, got it?!"

"I must harm Crane?" Negaduck asked, "Madam, Captain Negaduck admits his word, not to lay a finger…"

"Or a hook!" Bijou said.

"Or a hook on Master Crane."

"Parfait." Bijou sighed. And then she drew an X on the old tree where Crane and the others were. "There they are!"

"Ah, Hangman's Tree! So that's the entrance to his hiding place!" Negaduck grinned evilly, grabbed Bijou, and locked her in a lantern. "Thank you, my dear. You've been most helpful!" He laughed as he, Stan, and Heff walked away.

"Au secours!" Bijou screamed, "Let me out! Let me out!"

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